Always Another Side Read online

  He locked his car keys and wallet in his desk drawer and slipped his phone into his trouser pocket as he stood.

  Aaron waggled his eyebrows. “In the boardroom.”

  Tyler paused. “Oh.”

  They only had meetings in there for something serious. Something that required the whole department to be present.

  “Relax. I already asked about it. Apparently it was the only room free, and it will be only our team.” He hopped off the desk, ignoring the ominous creak it gave, and fell into step beside Tyler as he set off down the corridor.

  Tyler breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t heard any redundancy rumours lately, but you could never be too sure of what was round the corner.

  Aaron nudged him with his elbow. “So, since you ignored my text on Sunday, you have three minutes to tell me what happened on Saturday night after we left.”

  “I didn’t ignore it. I—”

  Okay, so he had ignored it. But what was there to say? He didn’t feel inclined to tell Aaron everything he and Jack had talked about, and he doubted Aaron would have the patience to sit and listen anyway. Aaron wanted juicy details, and there weren’t any. Sadly.

  As they reached the boardroom door, Tyler whispered, “I’m meeting him for lunch on Wednesday.” He slipped inside before Aaron had a chance to ask anything else, and made a beeline for the buffet table.

  Tyler didn’t have a chance to chat to Aaron again until they were leaving work that evening.

  Aaron nodded at the window. “Can you give me a lift? I walked this morning, but I don’t fancy going out in that.”

  Tyler grimaced at the rain lashing down outside. “Sure. Let me grab my stuff.” He bent to get his keys and wallet out of his drawer, stood, and pulled on his coat. “I’m parked right at the back of the car park, though. You’re still going to get soaked.”

  Aaron shrugged and started walking. “It went okay, then. On Saturday night?”

  It took Tyler a couple of seconds to realise Aaron had picked up their conversation from earlier. He smiled as he thought about Jack. “Yeah.”

  “Better than okay, judging by the look on your face.”

  “Nothing happened.” Tyler paused at the double doors in the reception area, eyeing the rain outside with distaste. He glanced at Aaron, not surprised to see him looking slightly disappointed. “Just because you would have hauled him back to your place for sex, doesn’t mean I have to.”

  “God forbid you do anything exciting these days!”

  Tyler sighed, tired of that old argument. “He was a nice bloke. I liked him, and I’m seeing him again. What’s so wrong with that?”

  Aaron put a hand on his arm and stopped him from walking through the doors. “Nothing. I just thought you could do with a little no-strings fun after—” He squeezed Tyler’s arm and then let go with a resigned smile. “Go have your old-man lunch, and don’t bother giving me details until there’s at least the swapping of bodily fluids involved.”

  He grinned when Tyler shoved him through the doors and out into the rain. Then the pair of them dashed across the wet ground towards Tyler’s car.

  Soaked and grumbling, they tumbled inside and slammed the doors shut. Tyler shook water out of his hair and wiped his hands on his trousers. “Charlie’s coming round tonight for a couple of beers and the footy. You fancy it?”

  Aaron strapped the seat belt in place and dried his hands on the seat, ignoring Tyler’s glare. “Yeah, okay. I’ll bring my own beer since the two of you drink crap. About sevenish?”

  “Yep.” Tyler reversed out of his space and set off towards Aaron’s flat.

  Neither of them spoke on the short journey to the relatively new housing estate where Aaron lived. Tyler was busy navigating rush-hour traffic and Aaron was busy on his phone.

  When Tyler pulled up at the kerb outside the three-storey building, Aaron unclipped himself and shifted in his seat to face him.

  “Thanks for the lift. And you know I’m only messing with you about Jack, yeah?”

  Tyler nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Okay. See you later, then.” Not waiting for a reply, Aaron climbed out and ran over the grass verge to the entrance.

  Tyler pulled out onto the main road again. The traffic was worse going back to his own house, and he sat in the queue, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel, mulling over Aaron’s words. Should he have invited Jack in on Saturday night?

  The thought had crossed his mind on the drive home, but he’d had enough cider to make him sleepy, and God… Aaron was right. He never had any fun. In Tyler’s defence, Jack hadn’t exactly been chomping at the bit either. He’d made it perfectly clear he hadn’t been looking forward to their date, and despite getting on surprisingly well, Tyler got the impression casual sex was so far off the table it wasn’t even worth bringing up. After thinking at one point that Jack was going to say “thanks, but no thanks,” Tyler jumped at the chance to meet him for lunch.

  Maybe Jack wanted to be friends and nothing more. Tyler had no idea at that point. He forced himself not to think any further ahead than Wednesday lunch. Rushing into things got him nothing but a broken heart, a bruised ego, and a whole lot of guilt he was still struggling to shake off at times.

  This time, he vowed, things would be different. He himself would be different.

  He glanced up and was shocked to see he was only a couple of minutes from his house, with no recollection of the journey to get there. That only happened now and again, when his mind was too preoccupied, but it never failed to scare him to death each time it happened.

  God, I need to be more careful on the roads.

  It was only their second date, for Christ’s sake; he shouldn’t be spending this much time dwelling on something that might lead nowhere.

  With Jack firmly pushed to the back of his mind, Tyler drove the rest of the way home sitting up straight with his eyes focused on the road ahead.

  The start of Tyler’s week flew by at an alarming rate, as everything seem to do the closer he got to being forty. Wednesday lunchtime arrived, almost taking him by surprise. He hadn’t forgotten—he’d dressed that morning in his best suit trousers and a dark blue shirt, and even put his contacts in—but it hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind either. Which was good. The last thing he wanted was to come across as too eager and put Jack off.

  He arrived at the pub ten minutes early, but when he walked inside, he saw a familiar face already at the bar. “Hey.”

  Tyler smiled when Jack glanced up and saw him. Jack smiled back, warm and friendly, and Tyler’s good intentions flew out the window. Jack has such a nice smile, and Tyler already knew that remaining just friends would be a huge disappointment. He hoped none of that showed on his face.

  “Hi,” Jack said as Tyler joined him at the bar.

  There was an awkward moment where Tyler didn’t know whether to shake his hand or go in for a hug, and in the end he settled for a manly pat on the shoulder.

  Fortunately, Jack didn’t seem bothered by Tyler’s sudden social ineptness, and he gestured to the array of drinks behind the bar. “What can I get you?”

  “Oh, just a Coke. I’ve got loads to get done this afternoon.”

  Jack nodded and asked for two large Cokes when the barman appeared. They ordered their food too since they only had an hour for lunch, and then Tyler followed Jack over to a table in the corner.

  The pub was relatively busy; they did a lunchtime special that was popular with a lot of the people in Tyler’s office. Thankfully he didn’t see any of them in there today. Everyone he worked with knew he was gay, it wasn’t a big secret or anything, but he had no desire to be the topic of office gossip for the next week.

  “What have you—?”

  “How’s your week—?”

  Jack grinned. “Sorry. I’m a little rusty, as you can probably tell.”

  “I hadn’t noticed.” Tyler immediately winced. “I wasn’t being sarcastic, really. As you can see, I’m not much better myself.” At least
any nervous tension between them had disappeared. Small talk wasn’t a forte for either of them, apparently. “You go first.”

  Tyler settled back in his seat as Jack smiled. He could get used to seeing that a lot.

  “Okay. Since we both seem out of practice, it might be a good to get an idea of what we’re working with.”

  Tyler was intrigued. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, the reason I’m so bad at”—he waved a hand between the two of them—“this is because it’s been about sixteen years since I had to chat anyone up.” Jack grimaced as he said it, but the phrase “chat anyone up” sent a small thrill through Tyler. “Does anyone even say that anymore? I’m showing my age here, aren’t I?”

  Jack laughed, but Tyler didn’t think he was that amused.

  In the small amount of time they’d spent together, Jack had brought up his age several times. At the pub on Saturday night, he’d mentioned recently turning forty, and the fact obviously bothered him. At thirty-six, Tyler was only four years younger, and though he might moan about being old and single, he didn’t actually think he was old. Just tired of being on his own.

  He set his glass on the table and sat forward. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “I thought that was the whole point?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Just ask.”

  The warmth was back in Jack’s smile, and Tyler met his gaze.

  “Forty isn’t old, not in this day and age, but you seem hung up on it. I wondered why, that’s all.”

  Jack blew out a harsh breath. “This isn’t the light banter I was going for by meeting for lunch, but I guess that’s my fault for starting the conversation in the first place.”

  Tyler frowned. If it was such a sore point, he didn’t want to push. “You don’t have to—”

  “It’s fine.” Jack sighed and ran a finger through the condensation on his glass. “I thought me and Simon were in it for the long haul. Sixteen years is a long time to be together, and I thought we were it for each other. But it turns out I was wrong, and now I’m forty and single. I feel like the world has moved on while I was happily playing house, and now I’ve been thrust back into the dating game without a clue of how to proceed. I have no idea where to even meet people anymore. I haven’t been to a club in years. I wouldn’t even know where to go.” Jack had been staring at his glass up until that point, but then he paused and looked up. The raw expression in his eyes made Tyler’s chest ache. “So yes, even though I know forty isn’t old by today’s standards, it’s how I feel at the moment.”

  Tyler swallowed. He had no idea what to say to that. If only he could skip work this afternoon, he’d be straight up to the bar and buying them each a glass of whisky.

  Jack rubbed at his eyes, then met Tyler’s gaze again. “Sorry. That was a little too heavy for lunchtime conversation. Christ, I don’t seem capable of being anything less than up front and honest these days. I don’t have the time or energy to pretend to be something I’m not for the sake of a quick shag. This is me, warts and all.”

  Jack made a sweeping gesture that drew Tyler’s attention to the broad expanse of Jack’s chest and the flat of his stomach where his shirt clung to him.

  Tyler liked what he saw. Warts and all.

  That was probably the reason he spoke without fully engaging his brain. “I don’t want a quick shag.”

  Jack choked on his mouthful of Coke, then glanced up, one eyebrow raised.

  “I mean I don’t just want that.” God, he was making it worse. “Shit.” Tyler closed his eyes for a second and pressed his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose. “Since we’re laying our cards on the table… I don’t do casual very well. I’ve never been able to separate sex and feelings. I like you, Jack. If we took this further, I’d want us to be exclusive and…. Sorry. I’m racing way ahead, aren’t I?”

  Jack sat and stared back at him.

  Tyler waited for him to make his excuses and leave. Their second date, and already he was talking about relationships. Aaron would roll his eyes.

  Much to his relief, Jack didn’t run for the nearest exit. He unzipped his coat and slowly took it off, making Tyler fidget with impatience. If he didn’t say something soon, Tyler would be forced to, and with his current track record, that wouldn’t end well.

  Jack leaned on the table and smiled, settling Tyler’s nerves a little. “I appreciate you being so up front. I think at our age—” He held his hand up as Tyler opened his mouth to protest. “—I know you don’t think we’re old, but we’re not young either, and time is not on our side. I’m happy to get our expectations out in the open. There’s no point even trying to get to know each another if we aren’t on the same page.” He paused and took a drink of his Coke.

  Jack might not have done a runner, but he hadn’t commented on what Tyler had said either. When Jack glanced up, his expression was so easy to read that Tyler didn’t need him to say anything.

  The words followed anyway.

  “This is the first date I’ve been on since I broke up with Simon. Hell, you’re the first man I’ve spoken to who wasn’t either friends, family, or a work colleague. I’m sorry if Zena gave your friend the wrong impression, but I don’t think I’m ready to jump into a relationship yet.”

  Tyler tried not to let his disappointment show, but his smile felt frozen in place and forced. He couldn’t maintain eye contact anymore and focused his attention on the table instead. Of course Jack didn’t want to take things further. How many times had he mentioned his break-up and his ex already? Tyler should have read the signs. This date was Jack tentatively dipping his toe in the dating pool again; he wasn’t about to grab the first chance that came up. Jack might feel older than his years, but at that moment, Tyler felt young and stupid. Again.

  Fuck. This was why his relationships didn’t last or even get started. James’s harsh words rang in his ears as Tyler played with the edges of the cardboard coaster.

  “If you thought this was anything other than sex, then you’re more naive than I thought. Come on, Tyler, grow up.”

  He flinched hard as warm fingers gripped his forearm, and he snapped his head up to find Jack regarding him with concern.

  “Hey.” Jack gave Tyler’s arm a squeeze and then let go. “That wasn’t a brush-off. Unless you want it to be?”

  “What?”

  “I was trying to be as honest as you were. I’m still getting used to the idea of meeting someone new, and I wanted you to be aware of that. I might not be as ready as you are to start a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get there. But there’s a chance I’ll find it’s too soon, and I wanted you to know that before we go any further. I like you, Tyler, and I want to keep seeing you, though I can’t promise it won’t end with us just being friends. It’s up to you. What do you say?”

  Tyler didn’t know whether to laugh or kick himself. God, he was such a drama queen. He managed to do neither of those things; he smiled. Jack was honest in a way James had never been, and even with the risk of falling for someone who might not feel the same, Tyler found himself nodding. Sometimes you had to take a chance. “Yeah, okay. Let’s give it a go.”

  They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, and Tyler’s heart sped up. Whether Jack realised it or not, being the focus of his intent gaze was a heady feeling and Tyler struggled not to read too much into it. Jack seemed an intense kind of guy, so maybe he did everything with the same amount of focus.

  Christ, if that was the case, Tyler was in so much trouble.

  He cleared his throat, more to distract himself from his runaway imagination than anything else, but the tension between them eased into something more relaxed, and he settled back in his seat as their food arrived.

  Their initial conversation seemed to have cured them both of their earlier nerves, and as they tucked into their lunches, a comfortable silence settled between them. Thank God, because Tyler already felt as though he’d run a marathon. Being that open a
nd honest with someone he didn’t know very well had left him drained. The afternoon in the office was going to drag by.

  Jack finished his sandwich and glanced at his watch. “Wow, it feels like we’ve been here ages, but it’s still only twelve thirty.”

  Tyler swallowed the last bit of his burger and then wiped his hands. “Is that good or bad?”

  He didn’t usually have this much trouble figuring out what people meant, but Jack kept surprising him.

  “Oh, it’s good. I assumed we’d both have to rush back to work soon, but we still have some time. I don’t want you leaving this pub thinking all I do is moan about my age and failed relationships. There’s more to me than that, I promise.” The grin he shot Tyler’s way was playful and happy and made him seem years younger. “At least, there used to be.”

  The expression Jack had now was so far from what Tyler had come to expect he couldn’t do much more than grin back. Like he thought… Jack was constantly surprising him. As corny as it sounded, and thank God he’d kept this thought to himself, Tyler wanted to help Jack find his old self under all the bitterness and self-doubt. “I’m sure there still is.”

  “Thank you.” Jack cocked his head to the side and studied Tyler. Whatever he saw there must have been acceptable because he smiled again, softer this time. “So, how do you know Jen?”

  That was more the sort of thing Tyler had expected on a second date, and he almost sank into the chair in relief at such an easy question. Finally something he could talk about without making a fool of himself.

  Chapter Five

  Jack checked his watch again to make sure they were okay for time. What he’d hoped would be an easy-going lunch getting to know more about Tyler had turned into a baring of souls. He eyed the rest of his Coke with disdain, wanting something stronger. Tyler seemed a lot more relaxed now, so maybe with the twenty minutes or so they had left, they could talk about themselves without all the heaviness. Asking about Jen was the first thing that popped into his head, and judging by the expression on Tyler’s face and the way he smiled, it had been a good one.