Always Another Side Read online

  Jack watched him process everything he’d just heard, curious as to what he’d make of it.

  Yes, he liked Tyler, but he hadn’t thought further than maybe asking him out for coffee. His mind still refused to consider anything beyond friends at this point, no matter how lonely he felt sometimes. Would it matter if Tyler decided Jack was too much hassle to get to know?

  Jack was busy mulling that over when Tyler cleared his throat and started talking.

  “I appreciate your honesty. A blind date isn’t something I’d usually agree to either, so I understand your reluctance.” He focused on his hands for a second or two before meeting Jack’s gaze again. A look of hurt coloured his expression for a moment. “And for what it’s worth, the last few months haven’t been much fun for me either. My last relationship… while it wasn’t long—I guess we didn’t really get started, now I look back at it—but the way it ended sort of messed me up a bit. A lot, actually, and I haven’t been keen on getting back into the saddle, as it were.” He took a long drink of his cider, and Jack watched his eyes close as he swallowed.

  That was the most honest discussion Jack had had with anyone in a long time. What did it say about him that it was with a relative stranger?

  “And, while we’re being honest with each other,” Tyler continued. “I am totally a geek—well, according to some definitions, anyway—so whoever described me that way was spot on. Also, I may look young for my age, but I don’t feel it. In fact I feel as old and jaded as any single thirty-six-year-old who can’t seem to get anyone to stay with them.”

  A silence stretched between them until Tyler rubbed at his forehead and sighed. “Sorry. I’m sure that was far more information about my life than you needed to hear right now.”

  He glared down at his pint suddenly, as though it was responsible for making him run his mouth. Maybe it was? Jack had no idea.

  Tyler’s lips twitched, some of the playfulness coming back into his expression. “I know I’ve already said it once tonight, but I think it bears repeating. You don’t look old, and you don’t act it. Not to me, anyway.”

  Jack opened his mouth to protest, because there was no hiding the dark shadows under his eyes or the lines around them.

  Tyler spoke first.

  “I’m not saying it to flatter you.”

  He waved a hand in Jack’s direction, his gaze slowly wandering down Jack’s body and back up again. Being looked at like that was something Jack hadn’t experienced in over eight months—longer, if he was honest. It was a heady feeling and one Jack wasn’t sure what to do with.

  Tyler continued. “I can see that you’re tired and that life has been shit recently, but you still look good. And more importantly, after spending time with you tonight, I think you’re someone I’d like to get to know better. So please don’t sell yourself short.” He finished off his drink and set the empty glass down on the table.

  “I….” Jack faltered.

  In his vision of how this evening would turn out, not once had he pictured them having such a frank and open discussion. While it was refreshing in a way he couldn’t explain, it also felt as though they were rushing forward at a pace he wasn’t prepared for. They’d skipped the usual pleasantries and cut right to the chase. Maybe that was how things were done these days. For all Jack’s dislike of small talk, he found the alternative just as unnerving. But he did like Tyler, and that was something, wasn’t it? Unless he wanted to spend the rest of his life alone, he had to start somewhere. Baby steps.

  By then, Tyler had slipped his coat on and was looking anywhere but at Jack. Tyler’s shoulders sagged; it was obvious he’d taken Jack’s extended silence as a brush-off.

  God, I’m so bad at this.

  “Would you like to meet me for lunch one day next week?”

  Tyler’s head snapped up; he was clearly surprised. “Yes.” He grinned.

  Jack smiled back automatically.

  “There’s a pub that’s about halfway between my work and yours, serves good food, if I remember correctly. The Horseshoe, I think it’s called?”

  “Yeah, I know where that is. I have meetings on Monday and Tuesday, but I can do Wednesday if you’re free?”

  Jack slid his phone out of his pocket. “Wednesday should be okay, but let me have your number in case anything crops up unexpectedly.”

  When Tyler reached out for the phone, Jack handed it over.

  Tyler’s phoned beeped as he passed Jack’s back. “Now I have yours too.”

  Getting Tyler’s number had been easier than Jack had expected. He hadn’t thought twice about asking for it, and Tyler hadn’t appeared surprised. Maybe there was less to this dating business than Jack had feared.

  God, now I sound like my dad.

  He yawned unexpectedly and cringed at how rude that was. Anxiety over tonight had built up through the week, and all of a sudden, it had caught up to him. Combine that with a full belly and a warm pub, and Jack was flagging fast. “Sorry. It’s been a long week.” Even thinking about how tired he was made him want to yawn again, but he managed to stifle it.

  Tyler obviously couldn’t stop his own yawn, though, and Jack smiled. Contagious yawns always amused him.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  The night had been a pleasant surprise, and so had Tyler, but Jack needed his bed. Tyler nodded, and Jack pushed his chair back and stood.

  They walked through the pub in silence, the ambient chatter quieter than before but still enough to fill the room with noise. Jack led them to his car and waited for Tyler to strap himself in before asking, “Where to?”

  Tyler rattled off directions. Jack nodded; he knew that area. There was a good Indian restaurant on the high street, but that was about all he remembered. “You’ll have to direct me when we get closer.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  Jack concentrated on reversing out of his parking spot and pulling out into traffic. Along with a lot of things these past few months, his night vision had got worse, and sometimes he found himself squinting. Another telltale sign he was getting old.

  Tyler had been suspiciously quiet and Jack glanced over to the passenger seat to find him sat there with his head back against the headrest and his eyes closed.

  He must have felt Jack’s gaze on him, because he turned and looked at him, his eyelids at half-mast, giving him a sleepy, yet sultry look. “I’m not asleep.”

  The huskiness of Tyler’s voice struck Jack as far too intimate in the dark of his car, and an unpleasant mix of fear, excitement, and want swirled inside him.

  The space between them wasn’t nearly enough, and all of a sudden, Jack wanted to be alone in his flat. Maybe he’d overdone it for his first foray into socialising. The evening had been great so far, but now he wanted to be home where he could relax and sort out his feelings in peace and quiet. He cleared his throat and quickly looked away. “So….” He hoped he didn’t sound as off-kilter as he felt. The turmoil of emotions that made him skittish wasn’t Tyler’s fault, it was all Jack and his stupid insecurities, and he didn’t want any of it to show on the outside. “Where do I go after turning right?”

  Tyler pointed out the way, chatting about his plans for the next day, which consisted of getting up at some ungodly hour and going for a bike ride. Jack nodded in the right places but neglected to mention that he was looking forward to spending most of the morning in bed reading his book.

  “That’s mine.” Tyler pointed at a semi-detached house at the top of the cul-de-sac they’d driven into. “You can pull onto the drive. Then it’s easier to turn around.”

  The front of the house was off-white, the same as the rest of those on the street, but it looked well maintained and welcoming. Jack parked, put the handbrake on, but didn’t turn off the engine. Would Tyler invite him in? He hoped not. The night had been a refreshing change from his usual Saturday night in front of the TV, and the last thing he wanted was to end it on a sour note. He was sure a refusal of Tyler’s advances would leave them both feelin
g off.

  To his immense relief, Tyler didn’t even hesitate before opening the car door and getting out. He moved so quickly that Jack’s mood did a sharp one-eighty.

  Am I such shit company that Tyler is in a hurry to get away?

  It was irrational to feel that way after wanting to rush off himself, but Jack had accepted months ago that abrupt mood swings were a part of his life now. He shook the feeling off, relaxing a little as Tyler ducked back down into the car and smiled hesitantly.

  “Thanks for driving me home, and for turning up tonight.” Biting his lip, Tyler looked shy and far younger than his thirty-six years. “I had a surprisingly good time.”

  Jack laughed. His early ire at Tyler’s hasty departure disappeared as fast as it had arrived. “Me too. See you Wednesday.”

  “Yeah, definitely.” With a more confident smile this time, accompanied by a wave, Tyler backed out of the car and shut the door.

  Jack waited until Tyler was inside with the door shut before reversing off the drive and heading home.

  His phone now sat silently on the seat next to him but kept lighting up every couple of minutes with a text alert. Ignoring them while driving was easy enough, Jack was as safety conscious as the next person. But Zena was relentless, and putting her off until the morning would only mean she’d pop round to grill him in person. Much as he loved her, he didn’t want his lazy Sunday morning plans interrupted.

  As soon as Jack got home and turned off the engine, he grabbed his phone and dialled her number, not bothering to read any of her messages first. It was getting late and he was tired—better to get it over with quickly.

  “What?” he asked, as soon as she answered.

  “Don’t you what me. I bet you haven’t read any of my texts, have you?” She sounded amused rather than miffed, and Jack, filled with curiosity, put her on speaker as he got out, locked the car and scrolled through to his messages. There were three from Zena and one from Tyler.

  He forgot about wanting to see what Zena had sent and went straight to Tyler’s.

  Thanks again. Goodnight Jack.

  It was short and to the point, but it made Jack smile.

  Zena’s tinny voice startled him into almost dropping the phone. “I’m still here, you know.”

  “Yeah, sorry. Just checking what you sent.” He quickly thumbed back to his messages and read all three of Zena’s.

  Just wanted to check you were home. And that the evening wasn’t too awful.

  I won’t pester you for details yet. But don’t expect me to wait forever :)

  I’m proud of you for trying and I love you. Night xx

  Oh. Not the tell-me-everything-now messages he’d been expecting. She would get it out of him eventually, though, so he only felt a little guilty about misjudging her.

  “Hey,” he said once he’d taken her off speaker.

  “I bet you were expecting demands for a play-by-play, weren’t you?”

  Jack grinned as he unlocked the door and went inside. “No.”

  “Liar. I can hear you smiling.”

  He walked through to the living room, sank down onto the sofa, and closed his eyes. “Maybe a little.”

  “Look. I know you were dreading tonight, but from where I was sitting, you two seemed to get on okay, so I won’t jinx anything by asking about it. I’m sure you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

  He laughed at the implied “You will tell me as soon as there’s anything to tell” in her tone. “Of course.”

  She sighed on the other end, and a quick glance at the clock told him it was already quarter to twelve. Far later than he normally stayed up these days. No wonder he felt knackered.

  “I just want you to be happy again.”

  “I am—” He just stopped the automatic reply. “I know.” The lure of his bed was getting too hard to ignore, and he yawned and stretched. “Listen. I need to go to bed, but I wanted to thank you. I would never have gone out tonight if you hadn’t pushed. I know I moan at you for pushing too hard sometimes, but tonight I’m glad you did.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Night.”

  “Night, Jack.”

  He grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and headed to bed. The mattress was as welcoming as usual, and Jack sank into it, pulling the quilt up over him. As comfortable as his bed was, it still felt too big with the wide space next to him where Simon had slept. Jack might have replaced his old bed, mattress, and sheets when he moved in to the flat, but the feeling that something, or rather someone, was missing wasn’t easy to get rid of.

  Just as he was drifting off to sleep, he remembered Tyler’s text. It would be rude not to reply, wouldn’t it? Without stopping to second-guess himself, he reached for his phone and found the message.

  It was my pleasure. Night.

  He pressed Send and set it back on his bedside table. A small smile tugged at his mouth. He hadn’t said goodnight to someone in bed for a long while. Granted they weren’t in the same bed, but it gave Jack a warm, tingly feeling all the same. Sleep came easily, and Jack was out for the count within minutes instead of hours.

  Chapter Four

  Tyler hated Monday mornings. He’d hated them when he was at school, and they didn’t get any better as he aged. The only consolation being that nearly everyone else hated them too.

  The car park was almost full by the time he got to work, and it took a while to find a spot. It happened to be right at the back, and as soon as he set foot out of the car, the heavens opened.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” He shot back inside and slammed the car door shut.

  Reaching over to the back seat, he grabbed his waterproof—he’d learnt the hard way to always be prepared. British weather was so unpredictable. Grumbling under his breath, he scanned the back of the car for a brolly; he was sure there was one in there somewhere. Already pushing it for time, he decided a hood would have to suffice. Zipped and covered as much as possible, he opened his door again and made a run for it.

  “Jesus Christ, is it raining?”

  Charlie—Tyler’s other best friend and Jen’s boyfriend—came out of the gents as Tyler reached the top of the stairs to their floor. Of course, Charlie was as dry as a bone, his black hair the perfect tousled mess it always was—not the dripping chaos that probably passed for Tyler’s own hair right then.

  Tyler rolled his eyes and shook rainwater off his coat in a deliberate gesture. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

  “Ooh, someone’s tetchy this morning. I heard your date went ‘surprisingly well’ on Saturday night.” Charlie grinned when Tyler looked affronted. “Shouldn’t you be all smiles this morning?”

  This was one of the rare times Tyler wished he worked elsewhere. He, Charlie, and Aaron worked for the same company, and although Charlie was in Support, whereas Tyler and Aaron were more Design and Development, they were all on the same floor.

  “I see gossip travels fast.”

  Tyler didn’t want to be discussing his blind date in the middle of the office corridor, but Charlie didn’t give a shit about what other people thought. Never had done. He was a big guy like Aaron, so people tended to avoid bad-mouthing him, probably in some self-preservation instinct ingrained since school. Tyler liked to keep his personal life… well… personal. Something else ingrained since school.

  He felt as though he should say something, though, because Saturday had been good, and it wouldn’t have happened without Jen.

  Charlie punched him in the arm. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

  Tyler stopped at the section of corridor where they parted ways. Maybe he was being pricklier than usual—miserable, rainy Mondays had that effect on him. With a sigh, he caught Charlie’s elbow and managed a smile. “Sorry. And thank Jen for me. Jack turned out to be a really nice guy.”

  Charlie smiled back. “I will. She’ll be thrilled. But it wasn’t Jen who told me—she said if I wanted to know anything, I could ask you. Aaron sang like a canary.”
>
  Typical. Aaron was such a gossip.

  Tyler nodded in the direction of his desk. “Can’t stop. I’m almost late as it is.”

  “Lunch?”

  “Can’t, sorry. Got meetings today and tomorrow, and Wednesday I have a thing.” He didn’t elaborate and Charlie didn’t ask. “Fancy a beer tonight? The footy’s on, so come round about seven.”

  “Okay, sounds good. Catch you later.” He turned and headed off in the opposite direction, and Tyler hurried to his own desk, dripping as he went.

  The morning passed in a flurry of phone calls and problem fixing. Tyler set his desk phone back in its cradle and squinted at his computer screen, puzzling over the latest design spec. For some reason the words were blurred and refused to come into focus, no matter how hard he concentrated. A shadow fell over him, and he glanced up to find Aaron perched on the edge of his desk.

  Aaron pointed a finger at Tyler’s head. “I think those are supposed to go on your eyes.”

  Tyler frowned. “What?”

  “Your glasses.” Aaron rolled his eyes. “They’re on the top of your head, and you’re squinting at the screen like you can’t see.”

  “Oh, shit.” Tyler quickly reached up and pulled his glasses back into place. “I don’t even remember pushing them up there.”

  Christ, no wonder he was getting a headache. Everything became clear on the screen in front of him and Tyler sighed. He relaxed back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair. The back and sides would need a cut soon; he made a mental note to make an appointment for before Wednesday. “God, I’m knackered, and it’s not even…” He checked the time on his phone. Wow, it was already 11.45 a.m. “Where did the morning go?”

  Aaron laughed. “We have that lunch thing in fifteen minutes.”

  Ugh. Tyler hated lunch meetings. He liked to relax during his lunch break, switch off for a while, and talk about something other than forms and deadlines. Even though the food they laid on at these things tasted better than what Tyler normally bought, it was still work. “Where is it? I forgot to check.”