The Choosing Read online

  Jerath keeps the fire small. He’d love nothing more than to pile it high with the dried branches they’ve collected and bask beside the glowing warmth, but they can’t afford to attract attention. Especially not in the dark, when they can’t see. The fire is big enough to cook the fish, though, and provide a little bit of heat.

  They both sit huddled around the flames, watching the fish roast with agonizing slowness. Jerath has his arm around Serim, her body a comforting warmth at his side.

  “What do you think they want with them?” she asks.

  “The rest of the villagers or those they took?”

  “Both.”

  Jerath sucks in a breath. He’s been trying really hard not to think about this, but there’s really only one reason to take young men from a village and march them away to who knows where. “The men will probably be used as slave labor, I guess.” From what Jerath had seen, there were no women among the prisoners. “But I have no idea why they’re still in the village.”

  Serim shudders and sighs. “You know how slaves get treated, Jerath.”

  “Yeah.” The odd escaped slave has come to their village over the years. None of them had been shifters, but Jerath remembers them all as being thin and badly beaten. He has no idea where they came from because none of them ever wanted to say. Jerath just assumes they were still terrified of their captors, and no one ever pushed for information. The elders try to heal them as best they can, but sometimes even that’s not enough. “I know.”

  Serim falls silent after that and Jerath is grateful; he really doesn’t want to dwell on what might be happening to the people of his village. It will be hard enough for him and Serim to make the trip south as it is—they only have the clothes on their backs and barely any supplies. They can’t afford to worry about everyone else too.

  The fish is surprisingly good, despite its lack of seasoning or accompaniments. That’s probably due to the fact they were both starving, but Jerath isn’t complaining either way. His full belly has made him sleepy, and he yawns and stretches before inspecting the ground for somewhere to bed down. The options are limited. Jerath looks longingly at the fire. It’s going to get cold tonight, and the meager flames aren’t nearly enough to keep them both warm.

  He can feel Serim watching him, and she abruptly stands and starts to peel off her clothes.

  “Um… Serim?” She ignores him and carries on undressing. “What are you doing?” Jerath moves nervously, his mind full of naked bodies snuggling together for warmth. He’s cold but he’s not sure he’s ready for that. Especially with the way he’s been waking up in the night recently. Serim doesn’t need to see him after one of his dreams, let alone be lying naked next to him. Jerath flushes at the thought.

  Serim’s soft laughter brings him out of his internal panic. “Relax, Jerath. I know what you’re thinking.” She folds her clothes and places them carefully on the rocks behind them. Jerath quickly lowers his eyes. “I just think it’ll be safer if I shift. I’ll be much more aware of our surroundings while we sleep and I can keep us both warm with all my fur.”

  Jerath does relax then, and when he looks up Serim has vanished and her beautiful, black panther is staring back at him.

  Jerath hurries into the trees to take care of the necessary bodily functions and then settles down on his back beside the fire. Serim prowls around the perimeter of their camp and Jerath assumes she’s doing much the same thing, but for scent-marking purposes. The scent of a black panther should keep most things away.

  Serim pads back over to him and settles her bulk down along the ground. She presses herself right up to Jerath’s side, and he can already feel the heat from her body seeping into his skin. It’s not long before his eyes fall shut and sleep pulls his exhausted body into unconsciousness.

  A SHARP, stabbing pain in Jerath’s gums startles him awake and he sits bolt upright, clutching his mouth. It’s still dark and it takes him a second or two to realize where he is and what’s going on. He gingerly runs his tongue over his teeth, and then it’s all too clear what woke him up.

  His fangs have come in.

  No! No, no, no!

  He’s waited months and months for this and it has to happen now—at the worst possible time. The full moon is tomorrow night, they’re miles from their village, and there’s no hope of performing the ritual there, even if they could make it back in time. He’ll just have to wait and pray that everything is okay by the next full moon, because that will be his last chance. Jerath refuses to accept that he might lose his ability to shift when it’s so tantalizingly close. Sometimes he wonders who he offended in an earlier life, because this really isn’t fair. At all.

  He finally notices that Serim is nowhere to be seen. Jerath’s heart rate spikes, his initial thoughts full of all the bad things that could have happened to her. But then he spots her blue eyes glowing in the dark as she walks back over to him, and he relaxes. He keeps his mouth closed, though. He has no other secrets from Serim, but for some reason he’s not ready to share this with her just yet.

  She tilts her head at him, probably wondering why he’s awake. Jerath lifts the waterskin, indicating he woke up thirsty, and takes a small sip. Serim eyes him curiously and Jerath gets the feeling she doesn’t believe him. She can’t call him on it, though, so he puts the waterskin down beside him and settles back on the ground. Serim takes up her previous position again, her warm fur a comforting presence against his skin, but it takes Jerath a long while before he can drop off again. He’s never kept anything from her before, and guilt is starting to seep in and irritate his insides.

  It’s just that this was supposed to be something to celebrate. If it had happened yesterday, he would have rushed to tell Serim and Mahli and they could have started planning for the ritual—which would have raised all sorts of issues, but he would still have been excited. But now… now there is nothing they can do, so he just wants to pretend it never happened.

  “JERATH?”

  “Hmm….”

  Cool fingers stroke across Jerath’s forehead and he bats them away with his hand. Soft laughter washes over him and the fingers are back, on his cheek this time.

  “Jerath… wake up.”

  Jerath opens one eye and squints up at Serim’s smiling face. She’s dressed and looking far too fresh for someone who spent the night in the forest as a panther. He covers his mouth, pretending to yawn, and mutters out a “Morning.”

  “Finally!” Serim grins and gets to her feet. “Get up. I made breakfast.”

  She turns and gestures to the fire, where two pieces of fish are roasting on sticks. “Fish again?”

  “It’s all we’ve got.” Serim pulls the two sticks away from the flames and hands one to Jerath. “Make the most of it. The rest of the fish will be spoiled by tomorrow and then we’ll have nothing.”

  Jerath sheepishly accepts the fish and mumbles his thanks.

  They eat in silence. Only when the fish bones have been picked clean does Serim sigh and lean on Jerath’s shoulder. “Do you think they’re all okay? Our mothers, Mahli, and the others?”

  Jerath swallows thickly. “I don’t know.” He slips his arm around her and pulls her close. “I hope so….”

  “Yeah… me too.”

  He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and gives her shoulders a squeeze. “Come on, we need to get moving.” He stands and holds his hand out for her.

  “Thank you, Jerath.” Her voice is low and gravelly, and Jerath can tell she’s fighting back tears as she takes his hand.

  He’s not far off himself. He misses Mahli and his mother so much and he can’t bear to think they might be in danger. But they need to keep going. They need to go and find help and they both need to be focused if they’re going to make it.

  He smiles at her, big and wide, doing his best to reassure her. “It’s going to work out all right, Serim. It’s got to.”

  Serim doesn’t say anything. She still has hold of Jerath’s hand and she’s staring at him, openmouth
ed. To be more precise, she’s staring at his teeth.

  Oh.

  Jerath quickly claps a hand over his mouth but Serim shakes her head and peels his fingers away.

  “Jerath?” She reaches up and runs her fingertips over his new fangs.

  They’re still sensitive and he flinches a little.

  Serim snatches her fingers back. “Sorry… I forget how it feels for you at first.”

  Jerath licks over his gums, his tongue soothing the tender skin around his teeth.

  “When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She looks confused and a little hurt, and Jerath’s shoulders slump with the weight of his guilt.

  “Jerath?” Serim lays her hand on his arm, her touch gentle and her voice reassuring.

  He raises his head and meets her eyes. “Last night. I woke up with the pain and you were gone… so I….” He takes a deep breath and Serim rubs his bicep, urging him to continue. “I didn’t tell you, because it doesn’t matter.”

  “What? Of course it matters, Jerath.” She grips both his arms tight, and looks at him with wide eyes. “How can you even say that?”

  “Look where we are!” He shrugs out of her grasp and waves his arm out in a wide circle. “Miles away from our village. The full moon is tomorrow, and there’s no way we’ll find a village elder to perform the ritual before then. I’ll just have to wait for the next one.” It suddenly dawns on him what else he needs and he flushes and lowers his gaze. “Besides, I still need to find a partner to help me through it.”

  He scuffs the ground with his boot and studiously avoids Serim’s eyes.

  “Oh, Jerath.” Her voice is soft this time and she gently lifts his chin back up. “We don’t have to wait. Do you not know anything about the Choosing?”

  “Yes, of course I do!”

  “Then you know that the presiding elder is there only to make the ritual easier to perform. The incantations need to be said while the union is in progress.” Jerath’s cheeks get even redder and Serim grins at his embarrassment. “Both parties involved are usually too busy at that point, so one of the village elders recites the words to complete the ritual.”

  “So?” Jerath must still be half asleep because he still doesn’t get it.

  “So…” Serim’s lets out a long suffering sigh, but her eyes are full of warmth. “It means that I can perform it. Girls are taught the words as soon as we can speak, so I know them off by heart. We can still do the ritual tomorrow night, Jerath.”

  “But, that would mean….” The words stick in Jerath’s throat. Serim is one of his best friends, and although both she and Mahli already willingly offered to help him, he has never actually thought about it in great detail. Until now.

  “Yes, it would.” Serim steps into his space again and cups his cheek. Her hands are cool and feel wonderful on his overheated skin. “It’ll be okay, Jerath. You’ll just have to trust me.” She looks determined and not at all unsure or embarrassed, and Jerath relaxes into her touch.

  “I do trust you.” He trusts her with his life, so of course he’ll trust her with this too. He just hopes he doesn’t mess it up. “It’s just I’ve never… and I don’t—”

  “Jerath.” Serim cuts him off before he can get into a panic. “It’s me, remember? I know all this.” She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses him softly on the cheek. “We’ll work something out.”

  She smiles at him and steps away. “Besides, we still have two days of walking to do before then, so stop worrying and let’s go.”

  Jerath nods, relieved to be dropping the subject for now at least. They grab the few things they have and head south again.

  THEY walk all day. The sun is warm when it breaks through the trees, but the forest is still too thick in places to let it through. They break for lunch and eat more of the fish. They have to eat it raw this time, since they don’t want to waste time building a fire. Jerath moans that he doesn’t want to eat fish again for at least three months. Serim laughs and informs him that unless they find something else to eat, they’ll be having it for supper as well.

  They don’t find anything else and so fish it is. They can’t exactly catch anything, since the only weapon they have is Jerath’s small hunting knife—useful for gutting and skinning, but not for actually catching things. The other alternative would be for Serim to hunt as her panther, but she’d have to leave Jerath’s side for far longer than either of them is comfortable with at the moment. When the fish run out, though, she may have to.

  “How far do you think we’ve come?” Jerath asks. They’ve both finished off the last of their fish and are lying beside the small fire Jerath made.

  “I’m not sure exactly, but the edge of the forest is about two days’ walk from our village, so we’ll probably reach the plains sometime tomorrow.” Serim shifts onto her side to face him. “I think we should stay in the forest to complete the ritual.”

  It’s the first time they’ve talked about it since this morning, and Jerath starts to feel uncomfortable all over again.

  “The Goddess of the Forest needs to bless our union and allow your animal form to come through, so I don’t think it would be wise to try and do it out on the plains.” Serim looks thoughtful, not a trace of embarrassment to be seen anywhere. Her easy manner makes Jerath relax a little. If she’s really okay with doing this, then he should be too.

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.” Jerath has enough bad luck as it is; he doesn’t want to invite any more. “Can we afford the time, though?” he asks, fidgeting slightly. “Shouldn’t we focus on finding help first?” He wants to find his animal form more than anything, but not at the expense of the others’ lives.

  “It will be much safer for us both if you can shift, Jerath.” She reaches out and squeezes his hand. He nods in return and they let the subject drop.

  They settle down for the night again, just like before: Serim in her panther form, pressed along the length of Jerath’s body to keep him warm.

  This time when Jerath wakes in the morning and runs his tongue along the smooth surface of his fangs, a frisson of excitement flows through him. Tonight is the full moon. He can feel the slight tingling in his blood that happens every month at this time, but tonight will be different. He has waited months and months for this day, and it’s finally here.

  Jerath can’t help but wonder what form his animal will take—panther, lynx, tiger, or jaguar? Jerath will be happy with any of them. He just wants that tattoo on his back and to experience the shift for the first time.

  “Someone’s happy this morning.” Serim is just pulling on her tunic when Jerath looks up at her.

  “Yeah.” He grins, unable to keep it in, and Serim smiles in return. “I’m a little excited about tonight, I guess.” He realizes just how that sounds and tries to backpedal immediately, “I mean about getting my tattoo… not… you know, the other thing.” Serim raises an eyebrow. “No! I didn’t mean I wasn’t excited about that too, I just—”

  Serim is openly laughing at him now, and Jerath knows his face must be the reddest it’s ever been and he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. “Oh, Jerath. Fortunately for you, I know just what you mean. Otherwise a girl might be offended by that.”

  He smiles up at her and some of his embarrassment fades. It really is a good thing she knows him so well. “Sorry.” He pushes himself off the ground and brushes the bits of dirt and leaves from his clothes.

  “It’s fine. I know the union part isn’t ideal for you—and honestly, if you were overly looking forward to that, I might be a bit freaked out myself—and you should be excited about getting your tattoo.” She picks at a stray twig Jerath has missed. “Shifting is… it’s the best feeling in the world, Jerath. You can run faster than ever, smell and hear a hundred things you would never even notice as a human. All your senses are alive and it’s so freeing. I can’t wait to share that with you.”

  Jerath looks at Serim with awe. It all sounds so wonderful and far too good to
be true. He’s almost certain something will come along to ruin it. Serim must catch the look on his face and she prods him in the belly.

  “None of that, either.” He makes an “I don’t know what you mean” face at her. “Nothing is going to go wrong, so don’t even go there,” she adds, and pokes him again for good measure.

  Serim looks Jerath over from head to toe and frowns.

  “What?” he asks.

  “Well, not to be rude or anything, but we could both do with a wash before tonight. Our clothes too.”

  Jerath looks between him and Serim and sees exactly what she means. Their skin is smeared with dirt in places, Serim’s hair has leaves in it and the odd twig, and he’s sure his doesn’t look much better. Their clothes are rumpled and dirty from being slept in, and a quick sniff reveals that they don’t smell too good either.

  “I think the Goddess would be extremely put out if we did the ritual looking like this,” Serim adds.

  “Yes, but where can we clean up?” Jerath has never been this far out into the woods before, so he has no idea where the nearest stream or lake is.

  Serim grins, obviously privy to information Jerath isn’t. “Well, it just so happens that I might know where to go.”

  “How?”

  She pats her nose. “When I scouted around earlier—you were still asleep, by the way—I could smell it.”

  Jerath ignores her playful dig, but he can’t believe that she can smell water. “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” She doesn’t roll her eyes, but Jerath senses it was a close thing. “I told you that our senses are so much more advanced in our shifted form. I can smell the stream, and hear the faint sounds of the water as it rushes over the rocks.”

  Jerath is still skeptical but nods anyway. “Okay, then.” He gestures for Serim to walk in front of him. “Lead the way.”

  “We have to veer off our path slightly to get to the stream,” she says, and Jerath notices that they’re now heading in a southwesterly direction. “But it can’t be helped.”