Bitten By the Alpha Page 13

  She’d been human, but they’d fit so well together. Cam had assumed what they’d shared had been as strong as any shifter bond, and the pain he’d felt after she died had only confirmed that belief.

  But he’d been wrong.

  So very wrong.

  Loving Gareth wasn’t going to be the problem. It was knowing that if he let himself go down that path, despite all the obstacles they’d undoubtedly encounter, their connection would be stronger than anything he’d ever experienced.

  And that thought terrified him.

  Cam paced around his kitchen, restless.

  His mind whirled with all the choices and decisions he had to make, and it all felt like too much to cope with. The full moon was still five days away, but the way Cam’s skin pulled tight over his bones, made it seem like five hours. He needed to run. Needed to shift into his wolf and let go of everything just for a few hours.

  On the night of the full moon, the whole park was off limits to humans as the pack did their mandatory two-hour runs, but on the days in between, they could come and go as they pleased. Cam glanced out the window, smiling at the raindrops beginning to run down the glass. If that persisted, then the park should be empty enough for Cam to chance it. His wolf was larger than most; he’d rather not scare some poor unsuspecting park-goer if he could avoid it.

  So many things required his attention, but as Cam stared out the window at the steadily increasing rain, all he could think about was being out in it.

  Rachel joined him in the kitchen a few minutes later. He’d not moved an inch.

  “I just spoke with my father.” Her choice of topic surprised him, and he turned to face her.

  “Good. I was going to ask if you’d been in contact with him.” Cam had sent him a text update when they arrived back in London. But it wasn’t up to him to let Tregarrak know how Rachel was doing. “Everything okay?”

  She shrugged. “I guess. I mean, Alpha Gallen seems satisfied with my absence.” She rolled her eyes. “But relations between the two packs are still on shaky ground. He said they’d had discussions but declined to share them with me. So…”

  Cam let it go. He had enough on his plate without becoming involved in something that was none of his business. But one thing niggled him. “You never said before… Why did your father revoke your beta status?”

  She grimaced a little and glanced at the floor before meeting Cam’s gaze. “I may have tried to sneak out of the farm and go see Sara. More than once.”

  “Ahh.”

  “Needless to say my father caught me and told me if I couldn’t adhere to pack rules, I had no business being one of his betas.”

  “Did he strip you of your beta strength?”

  She sighed, her shoulders losing some of their tightness. “No. He suggested I take this time away to think about what I want out of life, and he’ll re-evaluate my position when I return.”

  “Good.” Cam looked out the window to check the weather, relieved to see the rain was coming down hard now.

  She let out a surprised laugh. “Good?”

  He pointed outside. “I need some fresh air, need to shift and let my wolf out for a while. Since it’s not a full moon, ordinarily I’d ask Alec to accompany me—we have pack rules that no wolf runs alone, unless the circumstances require it. But since you still have beta strength, you’d be a perfect replacement for him. If you’re willing, that is?”

  She grinned at him, her eyes alight with excitement. “Really?”

  Cam grinned back, her enthusiasm catching. “Yes.”

  “Can I shift, too? Or do I need to remain in human form?”

  Cam hummed, considering it. “Ideally you’d remain human, but I doubt we’ll run into anyone on a day like today.” Alec would probably disagree, but he wasn’t there to find out. “If the park’s empty, then yes, you can run with me. How does that sound?”

  “Fair enough.” She clapped her hands, then laughed. “Sorry, but I miss fresh air. I’m not used to being cooped up inside like this.”

  Cam winced. “My apologies. I should have realised sooner.”

  She waved him off. “It’s fine, I mean it’s only been a few days, but….” She flashed her teeth at him, and he chuckled.

  “I get it.” There was something she needed to know first. “I should point out that, although Regent’s park is a large area for where it is, it’s nothing like the space you’re used to. We’ll have to be careful where we run.”

  “Understood. I’ll just follow your lead.”

  “Okay then.” He gestured in the direction of the front door. “Shall we?”

  THE RAIN lashed down, heavy sheets of water soaking Cam through as they crossed the road to the park. His clothes clung to his skin, but his smile remained in place, as he scented the air. No wolves in the vicinity, and from what he could tell, not that many humans either, although in the rain it was hard to be certain.

  His wolf stirred with barely contained excitement. And Rachel hurried along beside him, seemingly just as ready for it as Cam. Laughing in delight, with her red hair plastered to her face and neck, she looked wild and carefree, and totally out of place in the city. For her sake, Cam hoped she’d be able to return home soon. But then he remembered why she’d left—her homecoming would be bittersweet.

  And that made him think of Gareth.

  Which he needed not to do at the moment.

  “This way.” He led Rachel around the lake to the tree line. It wasn’t a thick forest by any stretch of the imagination, but it provided sufficient cover and space to run through. Stopping at the bench marking the start of the trees, he turned to Rachel, arms outstretched. “Not what you’re used to I know, but this is usually where we do our full-moon run.”

  She wiped hair away from her eyes and smiled. “Then let’s run.”

  They undressed and placed their clothes in a little cubby hole built into the bench; they were already soaked, but at least they wouldn’t become waterlogged. Heedless of their nakedness, Cam grinned and, then in the blink of an eye, shifted into his wolf; welcoming the intense flash of pain as his body realigned.

  His senses sharpened; smell and hearing, especially, and the park came alive around him.

  Glorious.

  As alpha, his wolf was bigger than average, with jet-black fur that kept him warm in the chill air. He padded over to Rachel, coming above waist height, and nudged her in the side. Come on, what are you waiting for?

  “Okay, okay.” Giving him an admiring look, she stepped back, lifted her chin to the sky, and shifted. Her wolf fur was a reddish-brown, her build slender—but Cam sensed the power and energy inside her.

  With one last look back, he took off into the trees, not surprised in the least when she was hot on his heels.

  The wind whipped at his fur, rain soaked him through, but Cam paid no attention to anything other than the sheer joy of running. Each twist and turn through the trees, pulled at muscles he hadn’t used in too long. Even at the last full moon, he hadn’t run like this. Rachel chased after him, but he easily kept ahead—alpha speed and strength an unfair advantage.

  In this form, the complications in his life seemed simple. As far as his wolf was concerned, Gareth was a fine match—clever, strong, loyal, and attractive. There were no doubts, only a sense of rightness. Unfortunately, Cam still had enough awareness to know this was just his wolf talking, but the temptation to go with it and lose himself in the simplicity of it all was almost too much to ignore.

  He allowed himself a few moment’s indulgence, where he imagined it was Gareth chasing behind him, not Rachel. For those precious seconds, his mind was blank, save for the exhilaration of the chase.

  But then he caught Rachel’s scent, and reality returned.

  THEY RAN for what seemed like hours, until Cam finally led them back to the bench where their clothes were. The rain had trailed off to a fine drizzle, but putting on wet clothes was both difficult and unpleasant. In hindsight, jeans had been a bad decision.


  After struggling into them, in some semblance of decorum, Cam sighed and glanced around the park, a fond smile on his face.

  Rachel paused in the process of fastening the buttons on her shirt and stared at him. “You needed that, huh?”

  “Yes.” He grinned. “I didn’t realise quite how much until we were running.” If he concentrated, he could still feel the rush of the wind against his face. But he couldn’t escape his alpha duties forever. “Come on, we’d better get back.”

  The run had done more than blow out the cobwebs and flex his under-used muscles. With leaving everything behind for a while, he now had a clearer idea of how he wanted to proceed—with his pack, with Newell… the only grey area was Gareth. That was one aspect of his life that wasn’t so easily figured out.

  He rubbed at his chest as they walked back to his building, and Rachel caught the movement.

  She gently bumped their shoulders. “You know, the simplest and most obvious solutions are often the best.”

  Raising an eyebrow, he turned to face her. For some reason, with her a guest and not a fully-fledged member of his pack, her advice about his personal life didn’t bother him at all. “Meaning?”

  She laughed softly. “You know exactly what I mean. All complications aside, Gareth loves you, and I know you feel strongly about him, so why not say ‘fuck it’ and bond with him.”

  Cam barked out a laugh, despite the seriousness of the conversation. “I’m the alpha. I can’t just say ‘fuck it.’”

  “Sure you can. It’s what nearly every alpha I’ve known does on a regular basis.”

  Sighing, Cam glanced up at the night sky. “But I don’t want to be the kind of alpha who puts his own wants above that of his pack.”

  “I know that,” she said softly. “And from what I’ve seen, you are the total opposite. But sometimes you need to do what’s right for you. Surely a happy, contented alpha is better for his pack than a lonely, heartbroken one?

  “I’m not—” He stopped himself and gave her words the consideration they deserved. Was he short-changing his pack by keeping a part of himself locked away? Maybe. “But what about Mia?” He met Rachel’s gaze again. “Even thinking about Gareth seems like a betrayal.”

  She put her hand on his arm and stopped him walking. “Does it? Or are you using it as an excuse so you don’t have to make that decision.”

  He fought the urge to snap at her but couldn’t stop the growl.

  Holding her ground, she squared her shoulders. “I know you don’t want to hear this, and I’m probably overstepping, but I’m going to say it anyway because I think you need to hear it.”

  He managed the barest of smiles. Of course she was going to say it regardless.

  “I didn’t know Mia, but I can see how much you loved her, so she must have been one hell of a woman. And I can tell you this… I love Sara with all my heart, but if we can never be together, then the very last thing I would want is for her to spend her life alone. And I absolutely believe that if Mia loved you even half as much as you loved her, then she would want you to grab this second chance with both hands!” She stopped, chest heaving and fists clenched. With her voice much softer now, she added, “And deep down, I think you know it’s true.”

  Not waiting for him to answer, she gave his arm a squeeze and left him standing there.

  The rain stopped altogether, and Cam looked to the sky again, the almost-full moon barely out but already calling to him. Rachel was right. They were all right. Mia would never want him to remain on his own out of a sense of guilt. And maybe deep down he’d always known it.

  ON TUESDAY morning, Rachel left bright and early to go meet with Gareth and his unit. The flat seemed strangely quiet without her, and Cam was surprised at how quickly he’d got used to someone being there with him.

  He sat at his desk, laptop open, staring at the home screen. He didn’t need to open his Inbox to know what would be waiting for him, but he did it anyway. Sure enough, in amongst the usual crap sat one from the prison. How naive of him to assume Newell and Wes’s incarceration would be the end of things. The pair of them were like an infection he couldn’t seem to cure.

  Reluctantly he opened the email and read what the prison Governor had to say.

  The same names were listed as visiting Newell and Wes, although Wes had only received one visit since Thursday, whereas Newell had had three. Was that significant? At least they hadn’t recruited any more of his pack into going.

  And at the bottom of the letter was another request from both Newell and Wes for Cam to visit them. So much for not granting prisoners’ requests.

  But why?

  Why were Newell and Wes so intent on having Cam visit? He couldn’t do anything for them, even if he wanted to. What could they possibly have to gain? Cam snarled under his breath. Whatever it was, Newell knew very well Cam wouldn’t be able to let it go, and he hated that it was true.

  With a sigh he typed out his response, knowing full well at least two of his betas were going to have strong objections.

  But he was the alpha, it was his decision to make.

  Next he typed out a message to Paul and Jason.

  Beta mtg at 2pm.

  He sat staring at his phone, debating.

  I can be in the same room as Gareth and not react, right?

  He might have said he needed space to be able to think with a clear head, which was still true, but what he wanted to discuss with Jason and Paul was something all his betas should be present for, and he couldn’t have a full beta meeting without Gareth.

  Without overthinking it any more, he sent the message to the other four as well.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Gareth watched Rachel get into the van with Luke and Nathan, feeling slightly bemused and a little unnerved.

  Jared stood beside him, arms crossed over his chest, and a smile on his face. “That went a lot better than I thought it was going to.”

  Gareth huffed out a laugh. “Yes, it did.” Introducing Rachel to his unit had gone so well, it was almost a non-event. As a whole, his people had welcomed her pretty much with open arms, especially when he told them she’d be joining them and working at the warehouse.

  He’d expected at least some resistance, but he should have had more faith. Nathan and Luke were due on shift at eleven, and Luke hadn’t hesitated in his offer for Rachel to ride along with them. Nathan had readily backed him up.

  Truth be told, Gareth thought Luke had a bit of a soft spot for her, but that was hardly surprising. She was a striking woman, one who, despite his earlier misgivings, he was finding it harder and harder to dislike.

  That probably had a lot to do with how he now knew Cam wasn’t remotely interested in her. Or her him. Still, it was odd to watch her get into the van with two of his unit, and he had to force himself to accept that it was all going to be fine.

  But they were his responsibility. He’d never not worry about them.

  “I’d better get back to work. Unless there’s anything else you need me for?” Jared met his gaze, and Gareth got the feeling he knew more about things than he was letting on.

  Now was not the time for that talk, though. And when he told his unit, it would be all of them together. He smiled and turned away from the road. “Nope, go ahead.”

  As they walked back inside, Gareth’s phone chimed with a text. He glanced down at it, surprised to see a message from Cam. His heart rate picked up at just seeing his name.

  For fuck’s sake.

  Stopping in his tracks, he waved for Jared to carry on inside without him. How was he going to manage seeing Cam again if they didn’t resolve this soon? Gareth closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  Focus.

  As in control as he was going to get, he read the text.

  Beta mtg at 2pm.

  Frowning, he typed out a reply. Does that include me? I thought you wanted space? Tapping the side of his case, he watched as the three dots appeared almost straight away.

  He di
dn’t have to wait long for an answer.

  Yes it includes you.

  Gareth waited for more, but that was the only message he got. Clearly Cam wasn’t going to answer the other question. He pocketed his phone and stalked back inside up to his flat. Thinking he’d have to avoid Cam for the week, Gareth had planned his week accordingly, spending his time either working from home—safely out of everybody’s way—or in the warehouse offices. Today was supposed to be a working-from-home day, but with Cam’s meeting at two, it was looking more and more like a half-day.

  TWO AND a half hours normally passed in the blink of an eye when Gareth had work to do, but that morning it seemed to drag like he was walking around in sand. Constantly glancing at the clock didn’t help, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from doing it. Then when it was finally time to leave for Cam’s, he didn’t want to go.

  Pacing the length of his living room with slow measured steps, Gareth tried to regain his calm.

  Breathe in, hold it. Breathe out.

  Repeat.

  When he was as good as he was going to get, he left for Cam’s building.

  The scents of the other betas greeted him in the hallway outside Cam’s flat. Thank fuck he wasn’t the first to arrive. After knocking once, the door swung open, revealing Alec and not Cam.

  Gareth pushed aside the flare of disappointment. It wasn’t unusual for one of Cam’s betas to answer the door. “Everyone here?”

  Alec smirked at him. “Yep. You seem to make a habit of arriving last these days.” He shot Gareth a sly glance. “Going for a grand entrance?”

  “Fuck off,” Gareth hissed back and rolled his eyes. But Alec’s teasing had gone some way to easing the tension in his shoulders.

  He knows, and he’s not treating me any differently.

  Cam’s scent filled the air, and each breath Gareth took made his heart beat that little bit faster.